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Monday, November 22, 2010

Roadsite memorials spark debate

http://www.montrealgazette.com/Roadsite+memorials+spark+debate/3859352/story.html Roadsite memorials spark debate

Salute to grief or public eyesores, communities ask

By DOUGLAS QUAN, Postmedia News November 20, 2010

When firefighter-paramedic Steve Van Hemme died in a motorcycle accident in Peterborough, Ont., two years ago, his family did what so many other Canadian families have done in tragedy's wake: they put up a makeshift memorial near the accident site.

It was a simple white cross adorned with teddy bears, a photograph of Van Hemme, and handwritten notes from loved ones.

But this summer the city took down the shrine and several others, citing a concern that memorial sites could distract drivers and cause accidents.

Van Hemme's family was floored. "That's where he died, where he took his last breath," his brother Shane Van Hemme said.

With admitted reluctance, a growing number of Canadian municipalities are clamping down on roadside memorials and imposing restrictions on them. It's a prickly debate that has ignited Internet discussion boards and newspaper opinion pages.

Municipal officials say they understand the desire to want to honour loved ones who met untimely deaths. At the same time, they say, they can't ignore members of the public who complain that some shrines are eyesores, unwanted intrusions on public space, potential safety hazards -or just downright upsetting to look at.

"It makes it a challenging issue," said Troy McLeod, manager of traffic in Calgary, which adopted a bylaw last year requiring families to take down roadside memorials after one year.

Earlier this year, the city of Winnipeg considered a policy that would have allowed memorials to stay up for 90 days, but officials opted in the end for a one-year limit. However, the city of Winnipeg went one step further than Calgary by limiting the size of shrines to one cubic metre.

As a compromise, both cities now give families the option to purchase for $125 to $200 stainless-steel bands, known as "memorial bands" or "halos," that can be inscribed and affixed permanently to a lamppost near the scene of an accident.

Other Canadian cities, such as Vancouver and Ottawa, have no written policies at all, opting instead to deal with complaints on a case-by-case basis.

"We certainly recognize the importance of temporary memorials for those grieving their loss," said Neal Carley, head of Vancouver's streets division, though he added that if a site is not being cared for or is causing problems, it will be taken down.

Residents in Kelowna, B.C., which is contemplating a formal roadside-memorial policy,

recently received a taste of how heated the debate can get. A resident there wrote to the mayor and council in September complaining that some memorials had been sitting unattended for years and were "simply disgraceful." The letter writer described one memorial that was covered with "dirty decaying remnants of clothing items" and "sun-bleached plastic flowers."

City clerk Stephen Fleming said after the letter became public, the letter writer became the subject of "nasty" comments on Internet forums, prompting Kelowna Mayor Sharon Shepherd to ask the media to refrain from publishing the letter writer's name.

A similar tit-for-tat broke out in the opinion pages of the Regina Leader-Post this past summer. One critic wrote that it was "not fair" for grieving families to "make everyone feel sad and have to explain to their young children why there were flowers, gifts and wreaths on the roadsides."

"One month is enough time

and then you have to let your loved ones rest."

The letter infuriated Janet Dvernichuk. The Regina mother lost her 21-year-old son, Joshua, in a collision with a semi-trailer in August 2009 just outside Macoun, Sask. In a letter published five days later, she called the remarks callous and insensitive.

"The comfort these memorials bring to the loved ones left behind far outweighs the minimal discomfort it causes those who have to explain to their children' the cold, hard facts of life," she wrote.

In an interview, Dvernichuk said she's visited her son's memorial about 10 times. Located just off a highway, the site consists of a white cross that has been planted in the middle of a motocross tire filled with crushed white cork.

"A lot of people want to put blinders on, they don't want to see anything ugly," she said, adding that there are other objects along roadways -such as "For Sale" signs and campaign signs -that are far more distracting.

Diane Purvey, an associate professor of history and education, at Thompson Rivers University in B.C., co-authored a book last year on roadside shrines called Private Grief, Public Mourning.

Roadside memorials serve a need, particularly for young people, to come together during times of grief, she said. They also allow them to feel like they have some control over the grieving process.

"They're taking it into their own hands. I think it does serve some visceral, gut need in people to be able to grieve, to have a place to go to that's symbolic to them," she said.