THANK YOU, STUPID AMERICANS!

THANK YOU, STUPID AMERICANS!
Dear STUPID American Taxpayers:
For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country!  I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain while many millions of you suffer from being unemployed.
My daughter, Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time, all on YOUR dime! 
Honestly, you just haven’t lived until you have stayed in a
$2,500.00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury
hotel, and YOU paid for it!  No recession in MY life!
Thank you, also, for the use of Air Force Two and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times.  By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol, I highly recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant in Marbella; great lobster with rice and oysters!  I’m ashamed to admit, the lobsters we ate in Martha’s Vineyard were not quite as tasty, but what can you do if you’re not in Europe, you have to just grin and bear it, right?
Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate
according to Government Accounting Office reports) only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates, but they are close.  That’s quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.

I know times are hard and tens of millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet.  So, I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon because with all YOUR tax dollars we are spending, we need the taxes to continue to enjoy ourselves, or we will just have to print more money.  (FYI: I heard that McDonald’s is hiring!  Now, don’t be lazy!  You go get that job!)
I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine some time ago, too.  I just had to just “get away” for a few days.
Cordially,
Michelle (Mooch-elle) Obama (and family and friends!)
P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip to India from which we recently returned!  It was a fricking blast!  (But that Indian food tastes crappy!  Curry and chutney?!  YUCK!) 
P.S.S. Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to Martha’s Vineyard!  It was fabulous.  CHA-CHING!!  It’s so much fun spending other people’s money!
And thanks for that second smaller jet that took our precious dog, “Bo,” to Martha’s Vineyard so we and the children could have him with us while we were away from the White House for eleven days.  (Barack picked the name of our dog because it rhymes with, “hoe.”  He’s so clever and funny, sometimes!)  After all, we couldn’t take him on Air Force One because he might pee on some wires, or something.  He does that.
P.S.S.S. Oh, I almost forgot to say thanks, also, for our two-week trip to Hawaii at Christmas, I mean, “Vernal equinox holiday” time.  That 7,000 square foot house was great to party at and my man golfed every day!

P.S.S.S.’s Don’t forget my ski trip to Vail, Colorado last winter and now, the girls, my mom and I are recently back from Africa!  All this while Barack plays golf and campaigns to keep my trips coming for the next 4 years!  Makes me damn proud of you, stupid Americans!  Thanks for the “change!”  And ya know what?  This recession really ain’t that bad!  Besides, I already told ya!  Hello?  McDonald’s is hiring!  You can do it!  And you even get discounts on Big Mac’s if you work there!
Love ya!
Remember, we all have to “share” the pain and sacrifice of these economic hard times equally! Thank you so much for the free money and “redistribution!”  I deserve it!  And I think of you all the time!  And I laugh out loud!  THNAK YOU!