JOKES

A hooded robber burst into a North Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.  On his way out the door, a brave North Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?” There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak. Then, one of the customers tentatively raised his hand and said “My wife got a pretty good look at you.”


A young woman had been taking golf lessons.  She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early? What’s wrong?’

‘I was stung by a bee,’ she said. ‘Where,’ he asked. ‘Between the first and second hole,’ she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Your stance is too wide.’

To shoot or not to shoot, that is the question
A man returns home a day early from a business trip.
It’s after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness, because the man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife, naked as a jay bird, with a man, totally nude also. The husband puts a gun to the naked man’s head. The wife shouts, don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.
HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
HE paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat.
HE paid for your Football season tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.
HE paid for our country club membership and he even pays the monthly dues.
And because of HIM, I can put an extra $2,000 in our checking account each month.
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabby and says, ‘What would you do’?

The cabby replies, “I’d cover him with that blanket, before he catches a cold.”