What The World Needs Now

OFF THE WIRE
What the world needs now is, of course, another biker reality television show. Don’t cringe yet. This one might star you.
A producer named Emily Brookstein who works for a production company in New York called Eastern TV is casting a new television program. Eastern has previously produced must see television like Crazy Hearts Nashville, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, When Robots Rule, Apocalypse Island and Cocaine: History Between The Lines. Obviously, if Bischoff-Hervey can get a biker show on the air anybody can.
The job of starring this as yet untitled show pays money. If you can recommend someone for the lead part you can make some easy money, too. The contact email is casting@eastern.tv. The casting notice might offer you a little insight into how these television shows happen. Here it is. Go for it.

Casting Notice

NOW CASTING MOTORCYCLE CLUB MEMBERS FOR MAJOR CABLE NETWORK
Are you a man with miles of hard road behind you, ready to ride toward a bold new horizon? Read on…
We’re looking for a family man who has spent years in loyal service to his motorcycle club and wants to kickstart a new life starring in a brave new series commissioned by a major cable network. If you’re an outlaw with a heart of gold your greatest adventure might be about to begin…by sending us an email.
If this isn’t you, but sounds like someone you know, and the network selects them for the series, we will give YOU a $500 finders fee!

What it takes…
You need to be hard and uncompromising, with a personality big enough to fill the screen.
Your family is as important as you are. If you’ve got a little girl you can’t say “no” to and a wife who knows exactly how to tell you “no,” we’re off to a great start.
You need to be ready to put the outlaw years behind you and make a new start at something totally different. It’s great if you know what you want to do next, but if not, having the desire is enough: we can help with the rest.

Next steps…
Write us an email telling us a bit about yourself. It doesn’t have to be too long – a couple hundred words is perfect. If you have a picture of yourself and your family you can attach that would be very helpful. We are working on a tight deadline with this so you can expect a quick response.
If you made it this far and you are having trouble imagining what life would look like as the star of your own reality show just remember what the Butthole Surfers said… “It’s better to regret something you did, than something you didn’t do.” If you are our guy you’ll know what this means.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
casting@eastern.tv