Dave Brown
ottawacitizen.com
"A finger is worth a thousand words, and therefore is particularly useful should one have a vocabulary of less than a thousand words." Justice Joseph Quinn, Ontario Superior Court, St. Catharines.
The high cost of lawyers is resulting in more selfrepresented litigants, testing the patience of judges and possibly turning courtrooms into comedy clubs. A court decision handed down last year is going viral, at least in Ontario's legal industry. It's like a television episode. Trailer Park Boys Go to Divorce Court. After watching a feuding couple and their friends and families parade through his courtroom for years, the judge handed down a decision that may not have pleased the combatants, but in which he appears to use humour to save his own sanity.
The players include two husbands and fathers who work together in the sanitation (garbage) field, and a bona fide Hells Angels Motorcycle Club member.
There are wives and mothers who speak fluent vulgar.
There was partner swapping that resulted in blended families that make it difficult to figure where the children fit.
There are children who badmouth their parents.
There's one "dickhead." Writes the judge: "The New Shorter Oxford Dictionary defines 'dickhead' as a stupid person. That would not have been my first guess."
During one of dad's courtordered visits with a daughter, she received a text message from her mom. He saw that word.
Mom and dad then wanted to call witnesses to prove or disprove that allegation.
The judge had to sort through years of cross accusations, threats, lies and several mentions of a Hells Angel dropping around to kill people as a favour to other people.
The story is too convoluted to be sorted out in the brief space of a newspaper column, and to those who've been through a divorce, it may seem normal.
At one point the judge punished an angry soon-tobe ex-wife by reducing her support payments -to $1 a month. What makes the judgment great reading is not his decisions, but his wry humour. Samples follow. Are they inappropriate? You be the judge.
The first paragraph of his Reasons for Judgment is three words, repeated. "Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud.
"If only the wedding guests who tinkled their glasses as encouragement for the traditional bussing of the bride could see this couple now . I am prepared to certify a class action for the return of all wedding gifts.
"The source of the difficulties is hatred: a hardened, harmful, high octane hatred. Larry and Catherine hate each other, as do Larry and Sam. This hatred has raged unabated since the date of separation. Consequently, the likelihood of an amicable resolution is laughable. Hatred devours reason. A satisfactory legal solution is impossible. Hatred has no legal remedy.
"I come now to the issue of spousal support, historically the roulette of family law; blindfolds, darts and Ouija boards being optional.
"As can be seen, Catherine and her relatives are onedimensional problem solvers.
"I find that Sandra does not exert a positive gravitation-al pull in this dysfunctional family constellation.
The high cost of lawyers is resulting in more selfrepresented litigants, testing the patience of judges and possibly turning courtrooms into comedy clubs. A court decision handed down last year is going viral, at least in Ontario's legal industry. It's like a television episode. Trailer Park Boys Go to Divorce Court. After watching a feuding couple and their friends and families parade through his courtroom for years, the judge handed down a decision that may not have pleased the combatants, but in which he appears to use humour to save his own sanity.
The players include two husbands and fathers who work together in the sanitation (garbage) field, and a bona fide Hells Angels Motorcycle Club member.
There are wives and mothers who speak fluent vulgar.
There was partner swapping that resulted in blended families that make it difficult to figure where the children fit.
There are children who badmouth their parents.
There's one "dickhead." Writes the judge: "The New Shorter Oxford Dictionary defines 'dickhead' as a stupid person. That would not have been my first guess."
During one of dad's courtordered visits with a daughter, she received a text message from her mom. He saw that word.
Mom and dad then wanted to call witnesses to prove or disprove that allegation.
The judge had to sort through years of cross accusations, threats, lies and several mentions of a Hells Angel dropping around to kill people as a favour to other people.
The story is too convoluted to be sorted out in the brief space of a newspaper column, and to those who've been through a divorce, it may seem normal.
At one point the judge punished an angry soon-tobe ex-wife by reducing her support payments -to $1 a month. What makes the judgment great reading is not his decisions, but his wry humour. Samples follow. Are they inappropriate? You be the judge.
The first paragraph of his Reasons for Judgment is three words, repeated. "Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud.
"If only the wedding guests who tinkled their glasses as encouragement for the traditional bussing of the bride could see this couple now . I am prepared to certify a class action for the return of all wedding gifts.
"The source of the difficulties is hatred: a hardened, harmful, high octane hatred. Larry and Catherine hate each other, as do Larry and Sam. This hatred has raged unabated since the date of separation. Consequently, the likelihood of an amicable resolution is laughable. Hatred devours reason. A satisfactory legal solution is impossible. Hatred has no legal remedy.
"I come now to the issue of spousal support, historically the roulette of family law; blindfolds, darts and Ouija boards being optional.
"As can be seen, Catherine and her relatives are onedimensional problem solvers.
"I find that Sandra does not exert a positive gravitation-al pull in this dysfunctional family constellation.
"Some family trees have more barren branches than others.
"Here, a husband and wife have been marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder.
The "finger worth a thousand words" observation was built around evidence that Larry had a habit of driving by his ex's home and "shooting the finger." The offending finger also flashed when he ran into members of his ex's family.
My turn to judge. In 50 years as a reporter I watched divorces evolve from events considered shameful, to unfortunate but acceptable. The legal industry has put in play stages that can ease people through that difficult and emotional time. Mediation is mandatory, in the hope that a skilled mediator can get the sides to be reasonable. If they can't or won't be reasonable, they shouldn't be surprised if they feel the heat of ridicule.
I therefore find Judge Quinn innocent of any suggestion that he has sullied the dignity of the court.
A search of records shows that Quinn was quoted, in a newspaper, in a case about a year earlier, saying: "Humour seldom finds its way to this end of the courtroom."
Courthouses are trying to adapt to changing times. Churches should be doing the same. "I'd suggest a reminder mixed in with the ritual. "I now pronounce you man and wife, and remember you now have a partner -not a prisoner."
"Here, a husband and wife have been marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder.
The "finger worth a thousand words" observation was built around evidence that Larry had a habit of driving by his ex's home and "shooting the finger." The offending finger also flashed when he ran into members of his ex's family.
My turn to judge. In 50 years as a reporter I watched divorces evolve from events considered shameful, to unfortunate but acceptable. The legal industry has put in play stages that can ease people through that difficult and emotional time. Mediation is mandatory, in the hope that a skilled mediator can get the sides to be reasonable. If they can't or won't be reasonable, they shouldn't be surprised if they feel the heat of ridicule.
I therefore find Judge Quinn innocent of any suggestion that he has sullied the dignity of the court.
A search of records shows that Quinn was quoted, in a newspaper, in a case about a year earlier, saying: "Humour seldom finds its way to this end of the courtroom."
Courthouses are trying to adapt to changing times. Churches should be doing the same. "I'd suggest a reminder mixed in with the ritual. "I now pronounce you man and wife, and remember you now have a partner -not a prisoner."
Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Divorce+judge+laughing+matter/4825705/story.html#ixzz1NE9epj00
