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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Devils Ride Version 2.0

OFF THE WIRE
agingrebel.com
The Devils Ride, the stupid and bogus reality series about a motorcycle club in San Diego, returns tonight after major offseason surgery.
Tommy “Gipsy” Quinn, the star of season one, is gone. Quinn purportedly founded the Laffing Devils Motorcycle Club, a once real, family club that was expelled from the Dago Confederation of Clubs last year. Last season Quinn trademarked the indicia for a completely fabricated motorcycle club called the Sinister Mob Syndicate MC. He transferred ownership of the Sinister Mob marks to Bischoff-Hervey Entertainment, the production company behind this soft, brown, steaming, stinking bowl of mass media entertainment. Quinn, whose wife is a cop, was also accused of child molestation last September. And, now Quinn has presumably been paid and shipped off.
The new President of the “Sin Mob,” as real biker insiders refer to this Survivor style tribe, is somebody named “Bubba.” No name says white trash better than Bubba – except of course Honey Boo Boo. Bubba, according to the website of a large and soulless corporation, “was born and raised in a hard-working, old-school American family. A hell-raiser early on, Bubba was prone to trouble and fighting, but 21 years in the military brought maturity to his instinct – and a love for the brotherhood of the MC. An ousted founding member of The Laffing Devils, he is a firm believer in an ‘Eye for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth.’ Bubba plots his revenge by knowing that there is a time for watching and waiting – and then there is a time for decisive action.”

Motif
This season’s dominant motif is the quest for credibility and the producers pull out all the stops. Some of the members even ride Dynas with those little, baby fairings that are so popular with the Sons of Anarchy. There are several new characters including “White Boi,” pictured above, a former associate of the Green Machine Motorcycle Club and “Rockem,” who may or may not have had a bit of history with the Mesa charter of the Hells Angels.
According to his biography on the soulless corporation website, “Rockem learned to ride–and fight— at an early age. His never-say-die attitude pushed him through the Marine Corps, architecture school, and onward to become a professional pilot by day – and a hands-on master bike builder by night. A self-professed adrenaline junkie, Rockem can drive or fly almost any vehicle on the planet, but it is his love of barroom brawls that earned him the road name Rockem. Now at the core of Sin Mob, Rockem has plans for the club that could eclipse all the members, including his President, Bubba.” Possibly, in future seasons Rockem will go on to become Professor Doctor Rockem and turn his unlimited talents to finding the cause and a cure for the ancient scourge of stupid.
White Boi also has a couple of sharpened edges. The soulless corporation decrees that: “After serving a multi-year sentence in the California Prison System, White Boi is finally up for release. Having done his time ‘right’ and never ratting out a single person for the alleged crimes – he is being released back into the world with a reputation for being a straight-up soldier.” Viewers will see footage of White Boi actually walking out of some institution to be greeted by a half dozen or so Laffing Devils – so maybe his sojourn among the Green Machine was part of his work release, and then he got violated, or whatever…. Discovery explains that White Boi is, “An old-guard friend of Danny Boy” who “could have been one of the earliest Laffing Devil members had he not gotten arrested, but being back in society – and the politics of club life – are not easy for a man who spent so much time in the system. His bond with Danny Boy runs deep and as the Devils try to rebuild, this bond could be beneficial to both of them.”

Put Down The Knife Rob
The most cringe worthy scene of the new season, at least so far, is a kind of face to face, junior high confrontation between members of the two “clubs” in a closed alley used as a television stage. The pretend bikers stand just close enough to fit into one overhead shot and wolf at each other like adorable puppies. There is, viewers are informed, only room for one gray and white club in Dago. One of last season’s stars, Robert “Sandman” Johnston, declares that it is a “big…Bleep Bleep thing to me.”
The actors are immortalized on video as very bad actors through multiple camera angles for a very long time – at least in fight time. White Boi eventually knocks Sandman on his ass and Sandman bounces up off the ground with a knife in his right hand. The scene is tough to watch for two reasons.
First, the invented confrontation ends when a police car dramatically arrives at the end of the alley. The invisible driver even has a line to say. So apparently, some police department has agreed to participate in this season’s production. And, that raises the question of how involved police are in the preproduction, production and post production of this reality series and why. Are these simply off duty cops getting paid or is Bischoff-Hervey really determined to poison every jury pool in America?
In a reality TV “confessional interview” after the incident Johnston says, “It’s out of control right now. Between my family, the club, like mentally,” Johnston points at his temple before confessing, “it ain’t good. Uh, Bubba has got me in a bad spot right now. I’m getting ready to take this Bleep…Bleep out!” Johnston goes on to describe the timely arrival of the police cruiser as “My get out of jail. That was his get of the morgue.”
Johnston, who was arrested after breaking into his estranged wife’s home last December and stabbing her guest in the back may now regret these lines of theatrical dialogue. His attorney certainly regrets them.
The Devils Ride begins its new season tonight at ten.

VIDEO,
MIKE P THE BIG HOMIE
I AM THE DARKNESS
http://youtu.be/iVaGiHgO2Z0