OFF THE WIRE
After learning of his wife’s infidelity, a cuckolded husband left a brilliant letter for the other man.
He posted this note to Craigslist with an image of a dirty sock using the heading “To the guy doing my wife:”
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know.
No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you
are giving it to my wife.
1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some
reason my 5 year old son believes if its not there he does not have to
wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?
5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off
with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are
clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to
work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
8.When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may
think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a
gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason
to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom
for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and
if she does she will not share.
10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner
that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp
for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work
too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day.
She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal.I may be able
to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can
help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront
her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will
be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.
P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.
Thanks This was not written by anyone named Jack S.
He left this where his wife and everyone else could see. Although it
was flagged for removal when it was first posted in 2008, the original
post is still there. Do you think he handled the situation well?