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Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Nag, Nag, Nag 2016

OFF THE WIRE
agingrebel.com
Last night was the Blood Moon, which marks the official start of motorcycle hunting season, so it is time for the annual (usually) sermon about that predictable moment when you meet the deadliest animal in North America. Motorcycle hunting season coincides with Cervidae mating season.
Every year, during October and November, packs of horny, male deer congregate near fermented berry bushes looking for love. They are like drunken, horny males of all species. Some of them find a female and some don’t. Some of them are smart. Some are stupid. Some are risk takers. Some are suicidal.

Just Facts

According to the American Automobile Association, seven of eight people who die after crashing into a deer are motorcyclists. Seventy-five percent of all deer versus motorcycle accidents result in an injury to the motorcyclist. About six percent of all fatal motorcycle accidents start with hitting a deer.
According to a journal for physicians titled MDEdge: A “retrospective review of a level I trauma center in Buffalo, New York, revealed that 40 of 487 (8.2%) of patients admitted because of motorcycle crashes from May 2007 through June 2011 involved deer. There were 120 total injuries: the most common were orthopedic (39/120; 32.5%), chest (38/120; 31.7%), head (18/120; 15.0%), spine (10/120; 8.3%), facial (8/120; 6.7%), and abdominal (7/120; 5.8%). Thirty-five of 40 (87.5%) were men and were older… than the average for all motorcycle crashes during the study period.”
Sharks kill one person each year in the United States. Snakes kill six. Dogs kill 28. Deer kill about 200.
You are most likely to hit a deer in West Virginia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Iowa and Montana.
During motorcycle hunting season, which runs from now until the middle of December, you may want to consider wearing your special, Department of Transportation approved, plastic hat at night. Deer whistles, honking and loud pipes will not protect you. Deer have evolved to escape wolves, not you. Flashing your lights might help but you probably won’t have time to do that.

Barbecue

Deer react to your proximity. Their flight distance is about 60 feet. When you get that close they react. Drunken, lovelorn deer react more slowly than sober, alpha deer. Typically, deer jump straight ahead and then run in zig-zags. At 65 mph you will have about ,6 seconds to react. Brake hard with both brakes as soon as you see a deer and ride straight. Do not swerve, The person who told you to swerve when you see a deer was trying to kill you. If you have time to react before you hit the deer, aim for the ribs. Te ribs have more give than the hips.
If you hit a deer and kill it, and you are relatively unscathed and the bike still runs, you get to keep and eat the deer. You don’t need a hunting license.
As always, be careful and enjoy your barbecue.