agingrebel.com
Last night was the Blood Moon, which
marks the official start of motorcycle hunting season, so it is time for
the annual (usually) sermon about that predictable moment when you meet
the deadliest animal in North America. Motorcycle hunting season
coincides with Cervidae mating season.
Every year, during October and November,
packs of horny, male deer congregate near fermented berry bushes
looking for love. They are like drunken, horny males of all species.
Some of them find a female and some don’t. Some of them are smart. Some
are stupid. Some are risk takers. Some are suicidal.
Just Facts
According to the American Automobile
Association, seven of eight people who die after crashing into a deer
are motorcyclists. Seventy-five percent of all deer versus motorcycle
accidents result in an injury to the motorcyclist. About six percent of
all fatal motorcycle accidents start with hitting a deer.
According to a journal for physicians titled MDEdge:
A “retrospective review of a level I trauma center in Buffalo, New
York, revealed that 40 of 487 (8.2%) of patients admitted because of
motorcycle crashes from May 2007 through June 2011 involved deer. There
were 120 total injuries: the most common were orthopedic (39/120;
32.5%), chest (38/120; 31.7%), head (18/120; 15.0%), spine (10/120;
8.3%), facial (8/120; 6.7%), and abdominal (7/120; 5.8%). Thirty-five of
40 (87.5%) were men and were older… than the average for all motorcycle
crashes during the study period.”
Sharks kill one person each year in the United States. Snakes kill six. Dogs kill 28. Deer kill about 200.
You are most likely to hit a deer in West Virginia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Iowa and Montana.
During motorcycle hunting season, which
runs from now until the middle of December, you may want to consider
wearing your special, Department of Transportation approved, plastic hat
at night. Deer whistles, honking and loud pipes will not protect you.
Deer have evolved to escape wolves, not you. Flashing your lights might
help but you probably won’t have time to do that.
Barbecue
Deer react to your proximity. Their
flight distance is about 60 feet. When you get that close they react.
Drunken, lovelorn deer react more slowly than sober, alpha deer.
Typically, deer jump straight ahead and then run in zig-zags. At 65 mph
you will have about ,6 seconds to react. Brake hard with both brakes as
soon as you see a deer and ride straight. Do not swerve, The person who
told you to swerve when you see a deer was trying to kill you. If you
have time to react before you hit the deer, aim for the ribs. Te ribs
have more give than the hips.
If you hit a deer and kill it, and you
are relatively unscathed and the bike still runs, you get to keep and
eat the deer. You don’t need a hunting license.
As always, be careful and enjoy your barbecue.