OFF THE WIRE
The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER,TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS:
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while he is cold and starving. CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC and PBS show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The country is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer
so?
The NAACP stages a demonstration in front of the ants house where the
news stations film the group singing “We shall overcome”. Then Rev.
Jesse Jackson has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshoppers
sake. President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush,
President Reagan, Speaker Boehner and Racism for the grasshopper’s
plight. Al Sharpton exclaims in an interview with TV News that the ant
has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally,
the Government drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of black bugs (EEOC) and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated under the
RICO Act and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his freeloading friends
finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house
he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ants old house,
crumbles around them because the grasshopper didn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared to the Ozarks, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead of an overdose, and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of Mexican spiders who terrorize and
destroy the once prosperous and peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote in 2016. Make sure that however you choose to vote, you have the ammunition to back it up!
