OFF THE WIRE
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you, but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see … Can I see your vehicle-registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the woman’s vehicle.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman complies, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver’s
license.
The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out a clutch purse and hands it
to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the
license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a
license, that you stole this car and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying asshole told you I was speeding, too.
Long May You Ride (to those that deserve to),
Paladin
