Sunday, July 21, 2013

A Parody Message to Massachusetts Motorists

OFF THE WIRE
Dear Massachusetts motorist,
This Driver’s Manual provides important information about the many ways we spy on the driving public. You can find out more by visiting The Registry of Motor Vehicles Spying Agency(RMVSA) at our branch locations and through our website at www.massspiesonu.com.(Mass Spies On U.com is a fictitious website) If you have any questions about your documents being turned over to the NSA, FBI or DHS when you apply for a driver’s license, we’d like to remind Americans, driving is a privilege extended to you by your government and can be taken away by your friendly police officer or judge.
Learn how to renew a registration, or what to expect when you are stopped at one of our many checkpoints, the answers are all in here.
I encourage you to read it thoroughly and keep it handy as a future resource.
The Driver’s Manual can help you prepare for a visit from one of our friendly police officers, or a phone call from the police or the District Attorney’s office. We know from experience that informed customers help us provide quicker, more efficient surveillance and reduce the possibility of your car being impounded under asset forfeiture. I encourage you to utilize our virtual branch before you stand before a judge, as most routine traffic stops will result in you being ticketed to profit cities, towns and to help pay for police salaries throughout the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
The RMVSA has also included all the rules of the road that apply to motoring on the roads of the Commonwealth in an effort to help balance our budget. In today’s world, although some people choose to travel using various transportation modes like walking, bicycling, or mass transit, we choose to track everyone including those in motor vehicles.
The MA Executive Office of Public Safety and Security has plans to compile as much license plate (read: location tracking) data on motorists as possible, into one centralized database. We can’t release information about its details or implementation but rest assured its for your own good We’re proud to inform you the Boston Police are doing their part by keeping track of every motorist’s movements.
We currently have fifty police departments spying on your driving habits and hope to add more in the coming months.
Owning a vehicle and keeping a driver’s license are privileges that come with a good deal of responsibility. Your behavior when being questioned by a police officer has serious consequences for you and your passengers. I urge you to not become familiar with the bill of rights and the Constitution as this is frowned upon by police and Judges.
The RMVSA has a professionally-trained staff of dedicated public servants who could care less about your rights. Please remember that since 9/ll we’ve taken more of your rights away under the Patriot Act and given your pictures and drivers license information to the DHS, NSA,FBI and countless private corporations.
While this may piss off a few Constitutionalists you needn’t worry, we hope that it will also keep you safer.
Don’t forget to take advantage of our numerous on-line monitored transactions at www.massspiesonu.com. And please, don’t hesitate to let us know how we can take away more of your liberties.
Safe Driving,
Your Government
(I hope this parody shocks the public into waking up and realizing how much privacy and civil rights we’ve lost)