OFF THE WIRE
agingrebel.com
Rebel has returned from Phoenix and will probably soon begin work on a story
tenatively titled “Worst Motorcycle Ride Ever.” The story will feature hurricane
force winds, the mother of all bee stings, missed connections, a dust storm,
rain and a motorcycle accident. In the mean time another really important story,
the advance notice for the second season premier of The Devils Ride,
titled “Devils Ride
Version 2.0” has been corrected.
Click the link to read the corrected version of this major story.
Devils Ride
Version 2.0
This is a corrected version of a story that was published on February 18,
2013. The original story stated that the series character White Boi, or
Whiteboi, was a former associate of the Green Machine Motorcycle Club. On April
13, 2013 the actor who portrayed White Boi, or Whiteboi, Christopher
Boultinghouse, contacted The Aging Rebel and demanded, “Your story on me about
being a green machine is fucking bogus Quit writing stupid shit about me thanks
…And remove those articles or clean it up thanks.” The story has been corrected
to state that the character and the actor both deny “being a former associate of
the Green Machine Motorcycle Club.” The Aging Rebel regrets the error.
The Devils Ride, the stupid and bogus reality series about a
motorcycle club in San Diego, returns tonight after major offseason surgery.
Tommy “Gipsy” Quinn, the star of season one, is gone. Quinn purportedly
founded the Laffing Devils Motorcycle Club, a once real, family club that was
expelled from the Dago Confederation of Clubs last year. Last season Quinn
trademarked the indicia for a completely fabricated motorcycle club
called the Sinister Mob Syndicate MC. He transferred ownership of the Sinister
Mob marks to Bischoff-Hervey Entertainment, the production company behind this
soft, brown, steaming, stinking bowl of mass media entertainment. Quinn, whose
wife is a cop, was also accused of child molestation last September. And, now
Quinn has presumably been paid and shipped off.
The new President of the “Sin Mob,” as real biker insiders refer to this
Survivor style tribe, is somebody named “Bubba.” No name says white
trash better than Bubba – except of course Honey Boo Boo. Bubba, according to
the website of a large and soulless corporation, “was born and raised in a
hard-working, old-school American family. A hell-raiser early on, Bubba was
prone to trouble and fighting, but 21 years in the military brought maturity to
his instinct – and a love for the brotherhood of the MC. An ousted founding
member of The Laffing Devils, he is a firm believer in an ‘Eye for an Eye, Tooth
for a Tooth.’ Bubba plots his revenge by knowing that there is a time for
watching and waiting – and then there is a time for decisive action.”
Motif
This season’s dominant motif is the quest for credibility and the producers
pull out all the stops. Some of the members even ride Dynas with those little,
baby fairings that are so popular with the Sons of Anarchy. There are
several new characters including “White Boi,” pictured above, who denies being a
former associate of the Green Machine Motorcycle Club and “Rockem,” who may or
may not have had a bit of history with the Mesa charter of the Hells Angels.
According to his biography on the soulless corporation website, “Rockem
learned to ride–and fight— at an early age. His never-say-die attitude pushed
him through the Marine Corps, architecture school, and onward to become a
professional pilot by day – and a hands-on master bike builder by night. A
self-professed adrenaline junkie, Rockem can drive or fly almost any vehicle on
the planet, but it is his love of barroom brawls that earned him the road name
Rockem. Now at the core of Sin Mob, Rockem has plans for the club that could
eclipse all the members, including his President, Bubba.” Possibly, in future
seasons Rockem will go on to become Professor Doctor Rockem and turn his
unlimited talents to finding the cause and a cure for the ancient scourge of
stupid.
White Boi also has a couple of sharpened edges. The soulless corporation
decrees that: “After serving a multi-year sentence in the California Prison
System, White Boi is finally up for release. Having done his time ‘right’ and
never ratting out a single person for the alleged crimes – he is being released
back into the world with a reputation for being a straight-up soldier.” Viewers
will see footage of White Boi actually walking out of some institution to be
greeted by a half dozen or so Laffing Devils – so maybe his sojourn among the
Green Machine was part of his work release, and then he got violated, or
whatever…. Discovery explains that White Boi is, “An old-guard friend
of Danny Boy” who “could have been one of the earliest Laffing Devil members had
he not gotten arrested, but being back in society – and the politics of club
life – are not easy for a man who spent so much time in the system. His bond
with Danny Boy runs deep and as the Devils try to rebuild, this bond could be
beneficial to both of them.”
Put Down The Knife Rob
The most cringe worthy scene of the new season, at least so far, is a kind of
face to face, junior high confrontation between members of the two “clubs” in a
closed alley used as a television stage. The pretend bikers stand just close
enough to fit into one overhead shot and wolf at each other like adorable
puppies. There is, viewers are informed, only room for one gray and white club
in Dago. One of last season’s stars, Robert “Sandman” Johnston, declares that it
is a “big…Bleep Bleep thing to me.”
The actors are immortalized on video as very bad actors through multiple
camera angles for a very long time – at least in fight time. White Boi
eventually knocks Sandman on his ass and Sandman bounces up off the ground with
a knife in his right hand. The scene is tough to watch for two reasons.
First, the invented confrontation ends when a police car dramatically arrives
at the end of the alley. The invisible driver even has a line to say. So
apparently, some police department has agreed to participate in this season’s
production. And, that raises the question of how involved police are in the
preproduction, production and post production of this reality series and why.
Are these simply off duty cops getting paid or is Bischoff-Hervey really
determined to poison every jury pool in America?
In a reality TV “confessional interview” after the incident Johnston says,
“It’s out of control right now. Between my family, the club, like mentally,”
Johnston points at his temple before confessing, “it ain’t good. Uh, Bubba has
got me in a bad spot right now. I’m getting ready to take this Bleep…Bleep out!”
Johnston goes on to describe the timely arrival of the police cruiser as “My get
out of jail. That was his get of the morgue.”
Johnston, who was arrested after breaking into his estranged wife’s home last
December and stabbing her guest in the back may now regret these lines of
theatrical dialogue. His attorney certainly regrets them.
The Devils Ride begins its new season tonight at ten.