Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Sun Showers

REALITY WHAT A CONCEPT,
Alright now… it’s a beautiful day… you are on your scoot… the sun is beating down… and you are anxiously knocking out westbound interstate miles on the way to some mountain road riding and beers with your buds. Can you picture it?… good… now… picture this.

As you you are heading down the interstate you start to feel drops of wetness on your face. You welcome this sun shower as it cools you down and invigorates you as you ride. You then wake up from your fantasy… look up in the sky and don’t see a single cloud above. Your mind starts to go to work… where is this coming from?

Is something happening an 1/8th of a mile up ahead such as…

A.) Some jackass is vigorously cleaning his windshield hitting you with the overspray?

B.) Or maybe some jackass just thew a half full cup of coffee out his window and you caught the tail of it?

C.) Or possibly… a frozen food trailer lost it’s refrigeration unit and is now dripping a constant stream of fish flavored water out it’s back making you smell like the VIP room at the local strip club?

Or is it…

D.) A f&*kin’ garbage truck packed full of soggy diapers… rotten food products… leaking car batteries… and an assortment of disposable juiciness on it’s way to the dump as it drools its way down the f*&kin’ road!

You begin to lick the fresh dew off of your lips… and… then… immediately… dive for the shoulder of the road as your body convulses and the dry heaving commences with such urgency that you barely get the kickstand down as you launch this morning’s breakfast over the guardrail.

Mother-f*&ker!!!… why does it have to be D. It’s always f*&kin’ D…. at least it feels that way.

Note to self… self… there is nothing potable to be found on the interstate at 80 miles and hour.

~ THE END ~