The SOA Advance

OFF THE WIRE
agingrebel.com
The are a couple of ways to look at tonight’s fifth season debut of the FX television show Sons of Anarchy. On the one hand Sons may just possibly be drowning in hyperbole. On the other hand rather than drowning, hyperbole just seems to make this creation stronger.
Four years ago when the series debuted the zombies who wear $4,000 suits promised a reimagining of Hamlet, one of the treasures of the English Speaking Peoples, and then delivered an hour of nutritious and heart healthy Cheese Whiz on a melt in your mouth Ritz Cracker. Naturally, the English Speaking Peoples loved it.
Now the zombies in suits have finally figured out how to really monetize this bitch. First you get an audience.
And, what a wonderful audience it is. “Some guy had us sign our names on his leg and arm,” Katey Sagal told the New York Times Magazine last Sunday, “and then he went away and came back a half-hour later, and he had tattooed them.”
What do you think is most remarkable about this wonderful anecdote? The moron who preserved his TV star autographs so that when he is old and grey and full of sleep he can prove to his progeny what wonders he has seen and accomplished with his life? Or the fact that the hype for this thing has infected the Times? Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert, as the Perez Hilton school of journalism likes to say. Next month look for a photo layout of the imaginary motorcycle club’s imaginary clubhouse in Architectural Digest and a dozen glossy pages on Mz. Sagal’s new line of leatherwear in Vogue.

Harley-Davidson
The Harley-Davidson Motor Company expects you to watch tonight’s show. The motor company – one of many American institutions that has evolved, as American banks and American manufacturing have evolved – will kick off its new advertising campaign on tonight’s show.
“The campaign, featuring stereotypical Harley riders, was first developed on Harley-Davidson’s Facebook app ‘Fan Machine’ by fan Harold Chase and was then cast on Twitter. The final 60-second spot, featuring 16 real Harley-Davidson riders and Twitter followers from around the world, makes its national advertising debut on the FX hit series Sons of Anarchy.” Even the name of the television show has evolved. Hacks are now strongly encouraged to use the series full seven word title: The FX Hit Series Sons of Anarchy.
Facebook app?

Real Live Hells Angels!
Hacks are also encouraged to imagine what will happen to them if they don’t cooperate.
In case you somehow didn’t hear, this season TFXHSSOA will include two, real, live motorcycle outlaws in its cast. The two gentleman are named Rusty Coones and Chuck Zito. They are both widely associated with the Angels, they both have pasts and they have both learned to make lemonade. Negative people claimed there was some sort of dispute between Zito and FX a long, long time ago, like last Spring. But the suits have assured the hacks that that alleged disagreement was almost entirely manufactured by a few negative reporters.
Yes, Kurt Sutter has been proven to be the sole creator of TFXHSSOA. No, he never called Chuck Zito a “half-talent.” Where do these lies come from?
As a point of fact, not rumor but fact, Mr. Zito will attend a Sons of Anarchy event tonight at Empire Harley-Davidson in New Rochelle, New York before riding “down to New York City for the Sons of Anarchy premiere.”

Russell Brand!
To celebrate this most important of all basic cable television events, creator Kurt Sutter and his wondrous troupe of thespians will participate in a “live chat” tonight starting at 9 p.m. in the East. The chat event will be hosted by Russell Brand! Who else!? And Russell wants us to know that we can enjoy this unforgettable thing “via the FX site, Facebook, Livestream and on mobile devices, like the iPhone and iPad.”
Why so many mentions of Facebook and mobile devices like the iPhone, you may ask.
Did you know that Joel McHale is in the show this year? Did you know Jimmy Smits will play a veterano? Did you know you can follow the show on Twitter? What’s all this social media stuff about?
Well, as a service to viewers, the SOA app is now available for Apple iOS and Android devices. It has been downloaded 425,000 times since it was released. It is a wonderful piece of free software that allows fans to “sync with the show in real time” or – here comes the best part – “shop for hundreds of items related to the show!” Isn’t that fabulous! While they are watching the show! Isn’t that the best thing ever!
“We are excited to offer SOA fans a place where they can not only engage further with the show but also find the merchandise they want in an interactive and entertaining environment,” somebody said Eric Schrier, head of series development for FX and executive VP of FX Productions, said.
How much you want to bet Eric Schrier owns a whole, big, walk-in closet full of really nice suits?
Whatever you do don’t miss this show! Did you upgrade your iPhone yet?