Frosty Balls Chronicles

The Alpha Biker, Preacher Chuck D.
Editorial Columns - The Alpha Biker Editorial Column I have just wrapped up a trip UP the East coast from Richmond, VA to Boston, MA (it was valentines day by the way) and along the way I was waxing poetic. I have been doing the year-round riding thing for over 20 years now… half of that in New England. So, I feel that I have I something to say on this topic.

Now when I first started winter riding in Boston back in the late eighties, I have to admit, I didn’t know what the f*$@ I was doing… all I knew is that I couldn’t afford to keep a four wheeled vehicle on the road… and therefore made a choice. As I say, life is full of choices, I chose to ride a motorcycle year-round in New England, and therefore I chose to give up the feeling in my fingertips… a small price for the experience it gave me.

When I say “Winter riding”… I don’t mean hopping on the full dresser, pulling on the full face, and turning my heated suit up to 10. For those of you who view that as how to embrace the elements, call me when your vagina heals over, maybe we can go for a ride at that point. For me, part of “the game” is experiencing the elements. Now, it may mean that sometimes I lose, but, to me, that is where the enjoyment is… and that’s why it’s a game.

Things I refuse to do… windshields… any piece of heated equipment that plugs into my bike… and a full face helmet. The plug-in heated equipment thing is just one less electrical problem that I have to trace. The full face and windshield thing… are just my thing… I feel like it’s cheating… and as I have said other times… it is good to do things that make you hard… it keeps you strong… and makes you appreciate that rest stop and the simple comforts of life that much more.

Now that you have some background on my perspective… I will share some nuggets that may save some frostbite… but right now… I need another cup of coffee and a shower… stay tuned!

Alright… where was I… tips and advice…

GOGGLES… first… I usually make due with pair of Ray Bans for 99 percent of my riding. When the temperature drops below 40 degrees I find that my eyes water pretty bad and that causes tears containing salt to coat the inside of the lenses. Your lenses are friggin’ impossible to see through after an hour… and DON’T dry wipe them… or you will scratch the f*&$ out of them… so use goggles in cold weather to extend the time between stops and see where the hell you are going.

CHEMICAL HEAT PACKS… they make ones that have glue on one side for shoe insoles… these will give you 12 hours or so. Stick two body warmers in your inside jacket pocket… you are guaranteed not to shiver. DO NOT… REPEAT… DO NOT decide to put these directly on your skin no matter how cold you are. I have a permanent four inch square tattoo on my belly… and I am a hairy mutha-f*&ka. It seemed like a good idea at the time… it wasn’t. Put two hand warmers inside each glove. These are smaller and will only give you about three hours of usefull heat. Put these in your palms and push them up to where your palm joins your fingers. Your fingers will hold up and you won’t burn the more sensitive skin lower on your palm. DO NOT… REPEAT… DO NOT put these on the back of your hand. One… it is a less effective spot that won’t drive the heat to your fingers… annnnnnnd… it will burn the f&*k out of the back of your hand… trust me.

BALACLAVA… WTF is a balaclava you ask… it is a combination fleece neck warmer stitched to a fleece/nylon head cover. As a bald mutha-f*&ka… headgear is a top priority. I have used the schampa brand. It works perfect… you don’t need a scarf… and you can fit a skull cap over it quite easily.

RAIN GEAR… WTF do you need rain gear for cold weather riding you ask… welllllllll… you will be amazed how much rain gear cuts down on wind. I can get by with chaps and a jacket for extended periods above 40 degrees… but when it drops below 40 I will throw the rain gear over my leathers. It does a fantastic job of keeping your core temperature up… and it is easy to pack. A lot of my friends use cold weather snow mobile suits… not a bad idea… but you can’t pack the mutha-f*&kas. I would need a whole seperate bag just to hold that friggin’ suit. They do work… but I need something that gives me flexibility and can fit in a friggin’ saddlebag. Sooooo… leathers and rain gear give you options on a long trip that may cross many regions and environments. I have found that the combination of leathers and a quality rain suit provide roughly the same level of protection that a full snowmobile suit will give you… and again… you can actually pack the f*&kin’ thing.

STOP BEFORE IT HURTS… even with all the above preparation… extended periods of exposure will wear you out. I have found that listening to my body and stopping before I am in pain helps me knock out more miles. If you go until your body just can’t take anymore and pull into a rest stop it will take f*%kin’ forever for you body to get warm enough to saddle back up. This will also f*&k with your morale and want you to quit the ride early. Stopping before you reach your pain threshold and getting a quick coffee and a water (don’t let yourself dehydrate by only drinking coffee) will allow you to get back on the bike more quickly and give you more miles per day in the long run.

That’s all it takes for cold weather riding… no fancy gear… just the right mindset. I actually enjoy it… and the looks on peoples faces when you blow by them with your knees in the breeze passing the snow plow trucks is priceless.

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